pink champayne soda

Pudding Steaming Season

Yup. I’ve been preoccupying myself these few days. Some would call it brooding, or sizzling, but no matter - in essence, spending too much time making chinese new year cakes by myself is making me sensitive to all criticism and indirect double-meaning statements.

Feel so fatigued, but it means I sleep good~ =)
Feel so overwhelmingly dull but also, sometimes, quite happy.
Happy to resist the thoughts of ‘oh my god, what am I doing at Uni... and what am I doing this semester..’ et cetera and more self-explanatory et ceteras.

Was I watching 60 minutes that other day?, but anyway, the reporter was saying that in Indonesia he met a man and his son on what use to be street. They were playing and laughing, but you speak to them and the child had lost his mother, two sisters, his friends, his school ... etc, and all this... makes me think it’s difficult to justify/measure up what I do and what I worry about.

On so many grounds you’d say there was no arena for comparison, but this doesn’t preclude anything does it?

And then I also remember in a small urban restaurant in Beijing, I was chatting to a nice waitress who was probably my age, and she thought I was quaint. She asked me where I was from and I said Australia in Chinese. And because China is so big and I had spoken to her in Chinese, she asked me how much the bus fare was to get to where she was. I didn’t know they measured you up by how far you could travel for lunch. And I said that Oh i caught a plane here. I’m not sure about her reaction, but my sister reckoned I shouldn’t have said that. I think I ruined her day just because we had different fates..

But in some way, it makes me feel like I owe ..

*11:23pm - turn off gas for last new year cake. Emptying second last one from tin*
(seriously, I’ve spent too long making these... total steaming time today has been around five hours. My whole kitchen was a sauna. I need another hobby..=_=.)

but as I was saying, Yeah I do feel like I need to put extra effort in things I do. I guess the fact that I don’t actually put effort.. just makes these moodswings cyclic.

So there~ It’s NOT P.M.S.

posted by juice @ 11:38 PM