pink champayne soda

squished

I can only say that I am squished. it's the only thing i ever ever would ask people not to do, and it wouldnt happen unless you were that important to be able to bring about such a devastating action. By squish I mean, using as doormat type squish. samui ne. by saying nothing, you let me say everything.. and though you hear, you haven't listened and my words become overbearing and burdensome. All i can say is, if you think it relieves me, it doesn't. When you don't disparage what i say, these facts i do not wish to be true will redefine us. You will think i put this as a tactical strategy to draw us apart, but it was always weighed in your favour to draw us together. Instead, i obtain a 'go ahead and be like that' reply that drops the temperature by 5 degrees. If it had been anyone else, that jibe would have been the correct response, and i would think nothing of it. But this was my self-defeating appeal - and it was dismissed just like that.. demo.. yappari.. zenzen.. wakeru no da. demo doushite..

When air turns to water to disguise my closed eyes

And all the small things are adding up. For a life to be defined by the weight of all the small things, that is terrible. it is to be stuck with the small pins and to be unable to embrace anything greater. it tires, it ties... oh my.. it's happening.

[I can't predict very much. Somewhat disabled at this moment. See you soon. this might be your opportunity to kick me when i'm down. but of course it's a risk. *blinks* but it's safe to say i won't be recovering all that quickly.]

posted by juice @ 12:51 AM