separation
eeya. *random selfish thoughts fighting in my mind for attention*It's my degree of selfishness that probably identifies me as exuding only-child syndrome, or in my case 'middle-child' syndrome.
thoughts aside. last night we went to some teppanyaki place. it was quaint and had a lively atmosphere. unpredictable. it was sweet and I had been looking forward to this thing the whole day. I thought we would endeavour to be constructive. But no for some reason i played the usual game of talking about every thing that was not really that important. later, i dunno, I can't talk about it here. Let's just say, I know and regret it when my behaviour is less than responsible or particularly not-nice. I can think of several people who I know and intentionally gave the blunt end to. Yada~ Wakeru ga, if it makes it easier for you to forgive me, know only that i'm worse off than before and at the time.. So many people must think I'm insensitive if not ignorant... ok, the ignorant part is a bit well founded, I'm so wrapped with issues I don't notice things, or I'm asleep and don't notice things... but yes i'm guilty.
Sometimes I wonder where i'd be if some of the pain/whinge thresholds of my friends were not so admirably high.
Tonight I went to MK's party. most of his friends could sing pretty well. but why did they pick all sad. moving or happy, moving songs? They're standards were too high, so i didn't deposit my two notes in. But yes, I was in a mood to be easily moved, so moved, I went for a stroll. That area brings back memories.. like when I was way young and going around the blocks on walkathons.
The crisp air, and the soothing temperature reminded me of christmas. Like the cooler days of christmas. Or maybe just walking along those footpaths reminded me of those times. There was definitely a warmth. It made me sad and happy at the same time. The sort of feeling you can get by oneself.. but in my case, I think throughout my life I've spent a great amount of comforting moments with people who actually weren't really there with me.
souka, i remember. We'd be somewhere, I'd glance about to see where they were or what they were doing, and they weren't with me.
But yes~~~ We are closer to Christmas already!! How exciting. *squeals*
posted by juice @ 11:59 PM
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