pink champayne soda

mornings

Things to report? My long absence has been due to stress and another series of unfortunate moods. And there's not much to explain there if you know me well enough.

But yes, I've been super grumpy due to the howling winds at night time, and if i ever told you I was a morning person - well, I'm definitely NOT a morning person. I do hope that one day I'll be able to go dragon boating at 9am on a Sunday but I should aspire to that as a long term goal.. of course if Laura comes or other people come, then .. well no I can't promise..

Anyhow I haven't gotten over my hyper-sensitivities. Contrary to what I thought, the crazy howling winds did not manage to exhaust negativity and insecurity by generally tiring it out of me. No, I realised today at the hairdressers that even reading articles on other stoic lives could trigger tear sprouting. (I also read about bears who live in captivity and constant pain because they have a permanent wound to extract some fluids from their gall? I love bears. *sniff* And donkeys. And dogs. Oh and people. - Yes priority in reverse order)

Before this I was spending the day in the typical asian way! *yay*~ Okay, so tartan is really a scottish thing but it has such a strange unshakeable asian vibe. I don't care if it's unfashionable! It's autumn! But no I was quite happy to hum [Eternally by Utada) to myself aloud. Suddenly,as it would happen, my net bank access got barred which surprised me. I spent 10 minutes telling LIB boss about how I was blocked and oh I forgot both my secret password question answers and the fact scenario just spiralled to the point where I wondered whether I should really be making such unimpressive self-confessions.

Having said that, do I sound clever? *grins* *laughs* I know some people won't answer because they'd otherwise fear for their life. Like yesterday when I went to visit Jim, and then Holly came to visit Jim, and we were talking about flakey make up, and I said 'If I had flakey make up, would you tell me?' and Jim said, 'You're question is more like, do I want to die? Hell no!' (useless!) A random person was trying to say my voice sounded clever. Having said that, I talk a lot and mostly to people of non-English speaking backgrounds(?) hence it must be an inaccurate reflection. But really, do I sound weird? - like when you talk to me, why do you mimic my voice? That's mean..

Also, University is really taking it's toll on me. It's even more depressing when younger men start miscellaneous chatty conversations. I mean, some would say it takes courage for a boy (yes I switched to the use of the word 'boy') to suddenly leave their crowd to chat to a lone girl who thinks aloud... but I think that's no longer the case, boys are just showing off to other boys. It's making me think of Jane Austen and the idea of spinster-dom. *laughs* and Mr Collins... *double laughs*

posted by juice @ 10:35 PM