.. oh bugger..
It seems.. I have a 1.5hr 9am start lecture on Wednesday and NOTHING else..
glazed look in face...
OH.. and I forgot my password to http://www.angelfire.com/ne/glaze ..
whoops.. and I forgot the member name I registered it with..
..just like i forgot the smh.com one.. and quadplex games..
And.. next week I'm flying out to Brisbane for 2 days for work with senso..
.. everything is so touch and go.. in a very melodramatic sort of way..
Autumn 2005
i just woke up and can't sleep again
but yes, this semester is called 'joisu's stingy-arse semester'
please dissuade me from buying things around now
ate yum cha
mm hmm. got up at 10 am again.
Yesterday I was meant to be at UTS library at 10. But i woke up at 10.
I was stunned and thought "what to do what to do? Should I go or should I stay.." Ultimately, I rushed out and got there at 10:40ish and then mingled around. Uni timetable is not looking good. There are too many gaps. I don't like those fruitless hours which are too short to be productive but too long to waste. Will see how things go.
Today went yum cha with Loksee, Grace, Donna and Emily. There was a conversational waitress there. I thought she was marginally annoying because I didn't find her inquisitive nature friendly. Au contraire, Loksee thought she was nice.
After some mingling moments Emma and Wendy came also and the time just flew by. Looked at a lot of photos. And really! I thought my bringing my half collated album was extreme, but Donna brought three of her 200 photo albums. Not that I'm saying that was extreme, but now I see I lack organisation. *sigh* We all swapped lots of stories and the diverse nature of our progressive thinking is refreshing. Got a lovely magnet from Wendy.
Today I was also concerned about what I was going to buy dad for his birthday. Ultimately, I purchased a fragrance. Haha. What else? Seriously.. it's too hard. But a lot of the men's eau de toilette springs me headaches. They start with that too strong of an alchoholic note. I know guys like the crisp clean laundry sort of fragrance... but i say, Marc Jacobs - if it suits your skin type and personality..
Saw Jim at work today too. Yup. We had a random conversation about various things. At least I know where I can find him and he can't run away. Imagine a not-very-awake guy nodding and me warbling on and on and on and on "yaDa yAda Yada yaDa YaDA YadA yada byebye"
Not sure how i did it in the past.. but walking down Pitt St.. it's actually a long way..
Meanwhile I have a lot of mental notes of things I need to accomplish.. but so tired.. dunno what to do.. sleep i guess..
Remember when it rained...
The real title of this entry should be "Bizarre Road Trip" - but then I like the song 'remember when it rained', so I'm putting more emphasis there. (mm.. sorta having a mood medley here)
So on Saturday we (Phil, Kat, Wing, Dom, Pete, William, Carl's friend (Lachlan), Lachlan's friend (Carl), Wendy, Peter and myself) went down Port Stephens/Nelson Bay direction to stay for four nights.
1. We (Pete, William and I) drove in heavy rain and realised we didn't have a key into our temporary abode.
2. Retrieved key and spent 2.1 hours in the car speeding in rain. The rain and fog was brilliant. The water was running across the windows and it really looked as if they were air bubbles and that we were driving under the sea. Wouldn't mind doing that again.
3. Played pictionary
4. When we went shopping for groceries, I took and carried away with the intention to permanently deprive Bi-Lo of one red toothbrush. We forgot to pay for it. Yes. Pilfered. Stolen goods.
5. After pizza, wendy and peter had to flee back to Sydney due to an emergency.
6. Went paddling and attempted windsurfing. A very difficult thing to do. The bay was picturesque and full of seaweed and those painful conical shells. Walking around in knee high water was a feat in itself. Standing on the board only to topple over and swallow the..water.. was frequent.
7. Played pictionary and a game involving counters and dials.. which was amusing to watch.
8. Went paddling on the boards. We aimed for the opposite island. We were optimistic. On the board, we gave up on that idea and went to the shore half an hour around the corner. Got some bruises. Two people on each board. We looked like the wounded - good-looking wounded though. haha. On the weedy banks of the other shore, we floated there. Then we realised the tide kept pulling us to the weedy shore and that we were having difficulty escaping. I swapped boards and Pete brought me to shore. I didn't have to paddle at all (yay). We saw a pelican. I pretended to be a pelican. The pelican eyed me in a mean way. The other three, well, they seemed to be stuck still. 15 minutes later, we see that they navigated through the weedy shore and were carrying their board along the road. Too bad we didn't get to the island. The island was about 6 times the distance we went. Ah well.
{mm.. i've heard the song 11 times already. Ha~ Yah, me like ne..)9. Wendy and Peter returned. And we played pictionary.
10. Went to sleep for the night. The room was pitch black and I thought 'Ok..' Then I opened my eyes to see a strange yellow/green glow on the end of Will's bed. I thought for a moment. There was no way the light was coming from the blinds behind us. It could not be from the the door as the shape was too odd. It's not from either of our phones. So I told William to wake up and see what he thought of the glow. He said simply that I should open the door or open the light. So I had to get up and reach... and reach... and swung the door open. I've said it before, I'm paranoid about these things. So I didn't sleep til daylight that day.
11. Wendy, Peter and Pete went windsurfing. They came home .. escorted.
12. We got visits from the locals, the ambulance and an intoxicated bogan. Think, short, beer gut, UGLY, super ugly, podgy, aussie person who was ... i won't say more.
13. The intoxicated bogan invited himself into the house. Ok, the bogan had a hand in saving the two pete's... but still..
14. The bogan talks on and on, and comes into the possession of a packet of cigarette's that are wendy's dad's. He talks and just says a lot of things that were slightly inappropriate for the moment. We divert the conversation and the bogan talks about his bikes and motorbikes and gives us his vehicles' registration numbers.
15. Lachlan initiated a plan to escort him to and out the front door.
16. The 'visitor' (yeah that sounds better ey?) asks for a lighter - of which we have none, we're non-smokers.
17. The ambulance men told us we should get rid of the visitor.
18. The visitor threatens Lachlan and others because Lachlan tried to be friendly and asked for a beverage from our visitor's six-pack.
19. The visitor gets the idea that he should be on his way but threatens that if he doesn't get a light he will string up people by their necks. (im not exaggerating, he did say that in his own words. I just don't recall his exact words.)
20. The visitor means to converse with me. For two minutes I didn't have the comfort of other people. This was solo. Talk about taking one for the team to be-rid of him. I could not have felt more depressed. *teary*
21. He wanted me to lean down because I was taller than him. Yes. That does occasionally happen. Me being taller.
22. I've rarely felt more scared.... No one to save me.
Seriously, I couldn't take it anymore. dismissal of his jibberish. flee back to the house.
23. Three of us took for the safety of upstairs, locked all doors, close curtains and feared for our safety. The other four didn't think it was a big deal. It WAS a big deal. It turned out all ok.. but.. fear!! Fear is Real!!
24. Will had long bailed on dealing with the bogan and we talked about how scary it was! I told him that I was so scared because he was casting me smouldering-gruesome looks and looked like he was going to touch me. EEargh. Shit I am depressed.
25. Around midnight I called Jiong, Candice (no answer), Gabe to get Anthony's number, Anthony to get Dom's number, Dominic to get Kate and Hanna's number, and Hanna - who was able to fill in for me at work. Yay... so we abandoned thoughts of driving in the dead of night...
26. So today.. I asked Gabe to drive me home from Pete's place. He agreed. Yay for Gabe. And I'm sorry Gabe, but you do sorta live closest-ish! ( Actually, I know that isn't an excuse, I wouldn't ask you for a lift if I didn't need it. But so much for my resolution to stop being lazy and to be more stoic when it comes to carrying baggage and unmeeting transport ends. I'm sorry, and thank you.)
27. Stop over at Gabe's house found some interesting things going on
28. Dropped off to Jenchoi's thing which was very interesting also
29. Left earliest homeward - even before the presentation of cake - but so tired...
30. sitting here listening to this song.
So there you are. All that in a space of a few days. ... hai..
But remember when it rained.
Pondering..
Mm hmm. I always leave it too late to type these things.
And I was going to summarise.. in a few dot points a few notable but mundane things. But, suddenly, noting down those charming moments has lost it's appeal..
Quite a lot seems so random and out-of-sync... quite frazzling... mm.
On a tangential note, today I somehow began to think of that story about the Boy who cried Wolf. But yeah.. I don't want to make any explanations - but I didn't think I was someone who asked very much from others.... all I can say now, is I'll ask even less. *nods* Joyce will cry wolfies or fishies or whatever no more.
On another tangent, the people at the liquor store doesn't ask me for ID anymore. Does this mean:
(a) I look old, or
(b) I've been to that store too often?
Hungry Mac's
Waho0oo~ Today went to Hungry Mac's and had a sweet fishburger!
Me have been exhausted lately.
Yesterday, after getting my final HepA/B immunisation, Catherine and I went to Bondi to have a browse (// *big spend*). Now, I know Wendy wants everyone to join her in boycotting Valentine's day because it's another big commercial thingy that sidelines all singles and makes us feel left out (aww.. she's so considerate~!) But even Bachelorette Me had to borrow valentine's day as a excuse for my ... unnecessary...exorbitant...impulse... purchases. So.. YAY~
But indeed, we walked around for 5 hours non-stop and waited for 30 minutes for a train from Town Hall to Wynyard before catching Rail Bus back home. So yeah, come bedtime and I went out like a light.
And having planned it all inadvance, we went to Hungry Mac's today. Gabe went and collected Bronwyn and Vincent for me, and we were off. We got there and of course we were confronted with a difficult selection of foods, *sigh* the choices! But having missed out LAST time (I was full. Brimming. Max.) I got le fish burger. And, according to Bronwyn, the chips were just excellent. Crispy, hot and to taste. So if you're driving by my neighbourhood, come get me and we can go there anytime*.
(*
'any' denoting a reasonable hour of which Hungry Mac's is in operation.)
After this, we decided unanimously to tag along to Gabe's weekly without permit/licence fishing expedition. However, his eager friends had taken all the bait and lines in his canoe and would not pick up his calls. Poor Gabe. Stranded on a sandy bank with us as we played Eye-Spy. Defeated, and having decided we didn't want the responsibility of lugging a wet canoe home, we decided to go to Gabe's house just for a rest before calling it a day.
It was good. We stopped to play in a children's park with equipment that was like a boat. Vincent said he got 'trigger' happy. But... yes.. his photos... are like... ok. I never had a photo of my butt before.
Also, I had an interesting think about the type of people I like. And well, this entry is already too long for me to spiel about it.
tired
absolutely energy deficient
so very truly remarkably exhausted
Raw fish
Oh my.. After ALL the advance notices I issued and ALL the follow up calls and ALL the nagging.. we ate raw fish again. I was about to add that we did so in a more well-behaved manner, but once again the waitress didn't look like she was having fun serving us. We just kept wanting to place orders.. for.. teriyaki chicken and things.
So, all up I'm very proud of the attendees who attended despite my annoying reminders, or those who just couldn't defend themselves (I'm sorry - it just wouldn't have been the same without you). So there we were, Wendy, Pete, Vincent, Jim, Pete, Pat and Catherine. Well, I cancelled work to do this - and have risked the fact that once I start cancelling work, I'll probably do it more often. (It's not that work is bad.. it's still good. But, I'm just at a point where I'm starting the feel that workplace dynamic is becoming out of sync with me. Been getting that a lot lately. )
One funny moment was when me and Jim were asked about what happened last time (at Sean's farewell) because everyone was considering the all you can drink + non-food wasting provisos. Catherine and Pat laughed so hard when I said we stuffed chicken into the beer cans to *hide* it. I don't recall who thought of that.
Anyway. I'm tired. Just been sitting in front of computer at work doing stuff lately. Quite.... eye-hurting.
But today was a very interesting day indeed~
And I've just got so much to do before uni starts again. All those random things I put into my daily planners that fills it to brimming max. AND it's not so much the effort I mind! Not at all! It's all.. worth the effort.. ( i'm thinking I've forgotten some very painful moments here).. but it's more the logistical navigation and coordination, time punctuality and the right pair of shoes that's more the issue.
There was something else I wanted to mention - but I forgot.
I need to tidy up my room.
Oh I recall. I decided that it wasn't worth telling Gabe what's happening and repeatedly calling him with reminders and 'please confirms'... I mean, elusive, Fine. I can understand that. But to the point he has taken it. Sorry. That's it. And this has nothing to do with that time we were going to go to the beach either. What sort of absent-minded non-supportive and almost disrespectful friend doesn't have the capacity to take note of engagements they agree to.. or give notice when something does come up. Perhaps I'm being downright hyprocritical. (... mm... yeah.....I'm being downright hypocritical..)
But I am getting so tired of that. Gabe is not very reliable, I have decided.
Pudding Steaming Season
Yup. I’ve been preoccupying myself these few days. Some would call it brooding, or sizzling, but no matter - in essence, spending too much time making chinese new year cakes by myself is making me sensitive to all criticism and indirect double-meaning statements.
Feel so fatigued, but it means I sleep good~ =)
Feel so overwhelmingly dull but also, sometimes, quite happy.
Happy to resist the thoughts of ‘oh my god, what am I doing at Uni... and what am I doing this semester..’ et cetera and more self-explanatory et ceteras.
Was I watching 60 minutes that other day?, but anyway, the reporter was saying that in Indonesia he met a man and his son on what use to be street. They were playing and laughing, but you speak to them and the child had lost his mother, two sisters, his friends, his school ... etc, and all this... makes me think it’s difficult to justify/measure up what I do and what I worry about.
On so many grounds you’d say there was no arena for comparison, but this doesn’t preclude anything does it?
And then I also remember in a small urban restaurant in Beijing, I was chatting to a nice waitress who was probably my age, and she thought I was quaint. She asked me where I was from and I said Australia in Chinese. And because China is so big and I had spoken to her in Chinese, she asked me how much the bus fare was to get to where she was. I didn’t know they measured you up by how far you could travel for lunch. And I said that Oh i caught a plane here. I’m not sure about her reaction, but my sister reckoned I shouldn’t have said that. I think I ruined her day just because we had different fates..
But in some way, it makes me feel like I owe ..
*11:23pm - turn off gas for last new year cake. Emptying second last one from tin*
(seriously, I’ve spent too long making these... total steaming time today has been around five hours. My whole kitchen was a sauna. I need another hobby..=_=.)
but as I was saying, Yeah I do feel like I need to put extra effort in things I do. I guess the fact that I don’t actually put effort.. just makes these moodswings cyclic.
So there~ It’s NOT P.M.S.
~~Hai~~~
YArrrr, I know I blog on endlessly too frequently! but the 70% cocoa dark chocolate has kicked in and me feel like big rave about how much I ate etc etc~ yada yada.. please, what else is new?
Bronwyn's family and Catherine came over for dinner. This meant big assortment of food. (Yay!)
Ate lots! Even saved room for water chestnut dessert.. and chocolate..
(Bronwyn also surprised me with a face wash pack! (Yay!) - and yes, let's not read into this too deeply, there is nothing wrong with my face.. it just happens to be this way.. I can't help it.... )
Anyhooo -
1. Planning to go to Sashimi All you can consume on Thursday unless someone calls for change.. means i'll have to cancel shift at work
2. Planning to go to Hungry Mack's (YAY~), not sure when, not sure how, not sure who's driving and who's reading map.. tuesday, saturday or sunday or week after on selected days suits me.. timetable is really messed up..
3. Watching LOTR3+ one other film at my house soon + chocolate fondue night OR toastie night*!
* contingent on my acquiring a toastie machine. Which should be soon. Buying things not hard at all.
Uni is going to start sooner than expected..
And Yarr.. dammit I need to go to a beach before Autumn really really kicks in.
There's always something about Autumn that gives me a feeling of Deja-Vu. Something in the light and the air; something in the atmosphere. Transient and soft, a reassuring light; a warmth; a glow... Makes me smile and twirl for no reason.
(Well no, I don't *twirl* - picture lots of colours in my head or something similar)
PR v. Spam
I have never really figured out why, but I seem to be a compulsive spammer, particularly when it involves a resume and an opportunity. So anyway, I've lodged a few applications. I'll figure out whether I have time for anything that comes up later...
Then I recall some opportunities turn out to be unrewarding slave labour... quite a conflict of interest...
Anyway, just since Monday I've been really annoyed at waiting for a bus for 45 minutes to get home from work. True true, I could drive, I could cab it, I could call for lift or I could walk... Yes, even walking wouldn't take 45 lousy minutes... but why walk when all you need is like 70c. But so, I finish at 8pm and don't get home til close to 9. Simply ridiculous. Situation needs rectifying. Yay! Work less!
This doesn't exactly explain why I'm willing to send random applications to areas further away...
Not in the mood for logic. Nn nn, not in the mood to think to myself!
I've pretty much finalised accomodation, insurance and flights to Hamburg in July. Einfach Klasse.
My mum is refusing to let me go to La France or Italia because she thinks I'm bait that will easily be robbed, drugged and sold. I've been musing about the darned Euro anyway, so stopovers in HK is all I need (yay). But now she suggested that I may like to go to England, and I want to go to Ireland... for no other reason but for the fact I think it's a quaint idea.
But the bottom line depends on how much I'm going to be able to save and how well I can manage my time and uni things.
And how I handle the pressure.
My worst and most depressing year was definitely 2003 when I just had to get out of that real estate firm and family politics.
Throughout, I've had my share of incompetent superiors, harassment and prolonged extended hour timetables... but that year really hurt. I wonder whether I'm stronger for it, no, I think not. But now the lack of challenging things and somehow an unrewarding monotony (apart from the knee and foot breaking experience of waiting for transport) is making me feel like I'm not getting anywhere... Well anyway, perhaps I'm just in a hypocritic-ish mood.
Also -... I think I should exercise..
