laaaura
Happy Birthday Laaaaura!
Yes. Today I was replying Laura's message when people started crossing the road. So subconsciously you believe that when poeple cross the road, then *you* can cross the road. Result, stepped into traffic and nearly got mangled. *nods* texting when doing a dangerous activity like walking is a no-no.
I'm getting better. head aches aren't so noticeable, eyes don't automatically seep tears and my nose can nearly breathe again. And because I can nearly breathe again I can actually taste how good this tabouli + chick pea + pumpkin + cous cous salad is~ *yay*
After I try to get this assignment done. I've exceeded the word limit by double. Mm. I'm not apologising unless the lecturer gets mad. But about the
other two assignments... don't ask. Or you can ask - but it will cost you.
20:21 amendment
I retract the previous optimism... i'm still sick. buuu~
cold
That's what I have. A cold. Drowsy tablets are incredibly sleep inducing.
Lochie
aside i got another 0405 number
Happy belated birthday Lachlan~
late evening, saturday, I rocked up to Angel bar where Lachlan was never without beer in hand. And you know, i never really thought that he squints (until his brother pointed it out) but seeing him blink always cheers me up. Lochie, you're hilarious, happy birthday.
It was heaps fun. A relaxing crowd where we had another get-together where Pete, Pete, Wendy, William and Carl and where we laughed about how Lachlan loves pictionary. And yes I always laugh about how scary the bogan was. *nods*
Oh OH but MOST importantly, we downed a few shots. They were called 'Red Pussy' and simply 1/3 vodka, 2/3 peach schnapps and and topped off with cranberry juice. There I was feeling a bit distracted, so I rocked up to the bar and enquired as to what they had. Peach and Butterscotch schanpps. decisions. *shakes head* Peach it was! And after I had one, I had three. Earlier in the day I thought i needed painkillers. Now, no matter~ I believe I have to go stock up my bar.. and do these assignments.. *some contained reaction* eyaa~~ Definitely. *nods* butterscotch.. *laughs* that bottle from
Jims is still in circulation between
holly and me.. *winks*
To keep things short because I have this throbbing head. Is it a headache? I've never had a headache like this.. It's like my brain is being massaged painfully by a cold-hearted masseur and seeing becomes tiring for my eyes. On saturday bunny and i discovered a different and quaint jap place. This was after i couldn't make it to gabe's thing (yada.. sorry gabe. really. I was tired and moody. and walking around my legs felt like collapsing at times.) but there you go. excuses when true are still excuses ne. Amusingly, we saw kids sliding down the escalator bannister though. And it made me think of many dangerous things I've done as a child. It includes riding my bike down a slope, turning a corner and scraping half of myself across a brick wall. Stupid is as stupid does, *shakes head*. or that other time when i slipped off a skateboard and i was only sitting on it. I think the other half of me grazed pavement that time. my dad was furious. Therefore, go karting.. when even walking can be a trial for me, would be too exciting. And I'd need insurance. *nods* (re:
mike)
Anyhow, i forgot what I was going to say. OH Right~ Lochie's brother and his friends were chatted up by two intoxicated girls who couldn't read and were 'with' some big fat bald and big wide old men.. It was.. a very interesting scene and .. quite awful to observe.
So.. i think i need to go over there.. and sleep now. *wanders off..*
heels
I don't care how swamped I am with assignments and how tear-raking they are. Firstly, I *will* find time to go beach myself. Secondly, I *will* go shoe shopping.
Re: Free to good home one pair of shoes. I am prepared to donate my 3-inch steep black killer shoes (size 38) to anyone who will take them (and pay for the postage). (I say 'will', but truly i am keeping my discretion in the matter). I have worn them twice, and on both occasions I realise my error 25 metres from my front door simply because I can't wear heels that have an incompatible slope above 1.5 inches. Yes, I got greedy. About 2 years ago I bought these $129 Ravella Excite Pin Heels because they look smashing. All who know me, i only wear flats and even then the prospects of body-impacting-concrete has ridiculously high odds. *cries* It's hopeless, science can't help me. *laughs*
I recall Tian told me I had big feet. Buuu.. But I forgive him because he's naturally absolutely tactless. *warning glare*
But shoe shopping is on agenda. Who knows.. I may keep these shoes for sit-down nice-carpet-only functions. But seriously, walking down a slope with heels at 60 degrees.. makes the angle around 75 degrees.. Wedges, Mules.. something that wasn't hard leather.. with soles.. or straps.. would have been a beauty..
Yes I was walking with Jade to Blockbuster.. I thought I would die.
I was eyeing the Coles shopping trolleys like anything and my sister was laughing. Nice to know, if my calf muscle gave way under a twist unsupported by hard concrete (damn those gravel bits or worse, polished tiles!!! Far out.. ).. yes well.. it was nice to know should something happen my sister would dash to coles grab 7kg of ice and all the bandages she can carry..
T.T * But Yes~ I would like to have that crisis scenario remain untested and untried..
Wanted: someone who can piggy back 52 kg minimum without complaining. Must be willing to go bar crawling, sit in cafes for long arduous conversations, remain stoic, and take turns being the designated driver. Previous applicants need not apply.
schwarz
Hallo *waves*
my hair has been fixed. It is black again. And that is pretty much all I have to say about that. Though after a few weeks I may have another outcry. But yes *shakes head* highlights are nice but they leave that burnt over look. And in Germany, I remember spending a day in the sun and feeling all raw. Pushing that aside..
Just a forenote, please remember I have heaps of assignments to do. My paper on trade law, i realise, due 3 weeks down track.. actually might not make it even if i start now and concurrently with the other two things.
Which reminds me that in yr 12 I had 12 months to write unreferenced fiction of 8000 words. which is 75% of what i need to do in 3 weeks. A rule of thumb is that for every sentence you write, you would have read a page. So if I start counting pages and hours devoted to research.. I will not react kindly to people taking my time so lightly. *nods*
Recently Laura drove us to a place really far away to look at some dogs for adoption. *thinks* can't keep sounding vague, but it was a place 15 minutes drive after going along Camden Valley Freeway? I don't know. Therefore it's a miraculous feat that we got there with no wrong turns as I was the navigator *winks*
I think my ideal dog would be a large, very intelligent one that likes looking for things for fun. But i have this idea that dogs like chewing shoes. You must factor in that I already do excessive damage to my shoes. Speaking of shoes, my sister were trying my shoes the other day. If she wore it for a day, the pressure she puts on the soles in her way of walking will be so impressed on the soles that when I wear them again, it feeeeels different and wrong. And the shoes become her property. Which is why when I found my sparkly slippers slightly stretched and warm.. I was devastated. It was almost heart breaking. She thinks she can get away with anything.*cries*
But yes, I would like a not-very-excitable dog. It's a thought. Unlikely to happen within 18 months.
Veebs, Loksee,
Holly and Peter also went to watch Charlie and the Chocolate factory with me. The scariest thing was that the Oompa Loompa people were all digitally the same face. The music was largely incomprehensible but I liked it. The most
hilarious moment was when Charlie got the golden ticket some people Gasped aloud. *gasp* *laughs* It's like, even if you hadn't read the story the title.. really.. logical..
*waves*
appearances
Okay, before you start thinking anything untoward (dot dot dot)(whatever that may be, i'm not presumptuous okay), but i really really have to comment about this crappy crappy 80's brady brunch hair style I got from that hairdresser located in market city next to a certain grocery store that shall go unnamed. (*winks*) and yes that description of the joint sounded quite unfavourable ey. For those people who like that place, by all means *superfluous inclination to you*, you don't prove me wrong by telling me it's good because after i went there, i felt assaulted and you can't change that ne.
I put off talking about it for so long. Everyone assures me i look fine.. but nooo noo *hands to ears shakes head*
Prima facie we followed a favourable review, and decided to go there. Now, I'm glad I got my hair cut an all because I couldn't have lived with what it was like before. But really, did they have to do such a damaging job!? *points* I've got heaps of split ends! *cries* it's insufferable~~~~~ No really~ dark hair (asian hair) is rounder, and lighter hair tends to be more elliptical. If you wonder why asian girls don't go to toni and guy (been there done that) is because they simply cannot achieve the styles or the colours that successfully. Having said that.. well, doesn't matter, my leisure to entertain Schwarzkopf and Goldwell doesn't count. Goldwell has better daily care products, and some must have styling products, schwarzkopf caters a bigger range with varying degrees of success.. I feel.
Yes, but it's seriously the bad cut that did it. It's not only the damaged hair (the parts I put through extreme curl treatment, tongs and colour) but the non damaged hair that are showing signs of discontent. The cut, and my hair's serious addiction to conditioner.. (intense conditioner) didn't get along. The hair dresser used semi-blunt scissors to drag through and thin part of it. I could hear tearing. Lots of tearing. See, it's ok to do that with cutting scissors, but he was using the thining scissors, the ones with the 5mm teeth going snip snip snip dragggg.. I mean, okay, I'm no hairdresser, but baby, that is so wrong.. if you're being paid to cut, do it properly. That's so negligent. You would have done better using a razor..
I'm getting it recut on Tuesday at another place. I also just feel like I need to change.
Have been easily upset lately. *nods* Also going to see Charlie und der Schokolade factory. Current attendees, Loksee, Peter, Holly and Vincent. lemme know if you shall come.
Moon festival day is Sunday. Also known as.. assignment day for moi. ta ta.
Oh Oh and I extend my thank you to peter for guiding me to the supreme court. And also for the walking and waiting in queues.. although for some moments i was sitting in hyde park and wondering whether he disappeared. And got approached by people doing an assignment (wow, their whole class with have 10 second snippets of me), firstly talking about racial tolerance, and then about australia.. put two and two together - yeah they're in the same class..
not so beautiful
okay so my day didn't turn out so beautiful.
beautiful day
GoOdmorninG~~ hardly morning, nonetheless, I can happily inform you that I slept well after a very difficult 2 weeks of assignments. I mean, in spite of the fact that I have one assignment due weekly still... Let me just omit any recollection of such pain right now. Until sunday anyway, when there is something due on Monday. *grimace*
BUT Yo! What's been happening besides my passing out over masses of documents??
Holly and I were using one of those rare 45 minute breaks eating in Kura and loudly talking about organ transplants. Personally, I feel that if my organ can keep working for someone else, then that's a good thing. A lot in life, I think, is a borrowed thing anyway. That is to say that I don't believe for one second I've come this far by my self *think metaphorically laterally etc* But yes, I couldn't hear anyone else in that restaurant except Holly saying "Who would want our liver!!?" something along the lines of our liver is broken anyway and I was clutching my head with my hands and saying "Noooo it's not true!! My liver is good!"
Yes, that is the day where I only had a grand sum of $2 and almost went hungry. *nods* Yes. It almost turned out to be an unpleasant day. (Note: if you have an outstanding debt owed to me.. expect my call.)
And so, I have woken up from well deserved rest *winks*, managed for the first time in a while use mascara in front of a mirror as opposed to using my princess ring on the bus. It should turn out to be a great day despite classes to 9pm and meeting Peter and Holly at 9am tomorrow morning leading on another 9am start of classes on Saturday... Leading to Sunday where I guess i will be doing assignment for Monday.. and ***Eyyaa... let me not think about it***
Gotta run - miss you. miss clubs.
*hugs**waves*
unrelated
Um. I forgot my phone today.
Aim to be in haymarket around 4pm.
And I was just thinking today that 'Gore Hill' really was quite an unpleasant name. But having said that I'm reminded that my Science teacher in Primary School told us she use to clean gravestones as part of her childhood games. I'm sure the stones looked much happier back then, but there's a lot of warmth in that isn't there?
TOnnniiikakuuu~ *hula dance while holding mooncakes ineach hand* getting off this ...afterlife theme.. and back to working on essay. *waves*
separation
eeya. *random selfish thoughts fighting in my mind for attention*
It's my degree of selfishness that probably identifies me as exuding only-child syndrome, or in my case 'middle-child' syndrome.
thoughts aside. last night we went to some teppanyaki place. it was quaint and had a lively atmosphere. unpredictable. it was sweet and I had been looking forward to this thing the whole day. I thought we would endeavour to be constructive. But no for some reason i played the usual game of talking about every thing that was not really that important. later, i dunno, I can't talk about it here. Let's just say, I know and regret it when my behaviour is less than responsible or particularly not-nice. I can think of several people who I know and intentionally gave the blunt end to. Yada~ Wakeru ga, if it makes it easier for you to forgive me, know only that i'm worse off than before and at the time.. So many people must think I'm insensitive if not ignorant... ok, the ignorant part is a bit well founded, I'm so wrapped with issues I don't notice things, or I'm asleep and don't notice things... but yes i'm guilty.
Sometimes I wonder where i'd be if some of the pain/whinge thresholds of my friends were not so admirably high.
Tonight I went to MK's party. most of his friends could sing pretty well. but why did they pick all sad. moving or happy, moving songs? They're standards were too high, so i didn't deposit my two notes in. But yes, I was in a mood to be easily moved, so moved, I went for a stroll. That area brings back memories.. like when I was way young and going around the blocks on walkathons.
The crisp air, and the soothing temperature reminded me of christmas. Like the cooler days of christmas. Or maybe just walking along those footpaths reminded me of those times. There was definitely a warmth. It made me sad and happy at the same time. The sort of feeling you can get by oneself.. but in my case, I think throughout my life I've spent a great amount of comforting moments with people who actually weren't really there with me.
souka, i remember. We'd be somewhere, I'd glance about to see where they were or what they were doing, and they weren't with me.
But yes~~~ We are closer to Christmas already!! How exciting. *squeals*
laughs
Oh oh. I forgot to mention some funny things that happened at MK's. Funny things apart from him mentioning that eventually everyone in his church group would soon become related. Then it wouldn't be a party of friends anymore but a family gathering. *raised eyebrow* So that was clearly their insider jokes.
But MK and his brother have a young friend by the name of Rex. And that boy, seriously, is he sagittarius? So excessive and flamboyant. *laughs* reminds me of ..*cough*.. people I use to know. But yes, mike wanted him to set up a karaoke song and initiate some sort of scene. And Mk's threat was "Rex, look if you don't do this, you won't get breakfast tomorrow" and then the boy practically spun on his feet and gasped "No Breakfast!?" in a very Tolkien Hobbit like way. *laughs* So threatical and cute.*winks* Then the next few minutes he came from the living room to the kitchen several times with anguish painted on his face saying "But Mk i don't know how to use the remote" "How am I going to do this" "No breakfast.."
And then later when the scene was attempted to be carried out, all you could hear were laughs, protests and the poor boy's voice screaming out "No you sing! I can't sing this!".
But yes, my chinese speaking skills are a bit poor. *shakes head* And Mk's friends tried to be such an inclusive bunch. Very nice people. *nods*
Unrelated: the thing i was searching for this morning, I found. And in process suffered the fourth paper cut on my right hand. Except this is no midget skin abrasion. It's a paper cut. And it's 1cm in length. And though I didn't feel a thing. When I saw it - trust me *then* I felt it. That only shows how absorbed I was in my paper sifting..
Next upcoming event, lunch at Westin and then apart from assignments and potentially stupid actions, Lochie's B'day party.. it shall be smashing. *nods*
*winks*
inevitable
The inevitable has happened.
mm the new
Tooheys ad has been revealed. But that isn't what this post is referring to! The ad, though, interesting, is completely sidelined for this other issue of which I may need to attend counselling for!
*cries* Yes Yes It is THAT bad! *sobs*
Maybe it's been the lack of sleep and bad time management. Maybe it's been a whole factorial of things like getting up from stacks of sleepless days and nights, never fail impacting ground formula (∫√KO + gravity = mass×acceleration ≈ pain), miscellaneous duties 8 - 8, cooking dinner (or so trying to) and assignmetrics to the dawn of summer! Hurrah! Summer. Being several months away. Spring 2005 is kick arse! Ya~ *points to mysterious bruise*
But yes, dear sir, dear madam, today, my lovely mac fell from grasp and hit the floor with a *thud*. Oh my.
None of my property never retains their origin look for long.. add a few burn, stretch and *destroyed* markers here and there. But my mac with it's gloatingly attractive titanium glow.. now has this chink on the side. *sniff**pats mac dotingly)*
In two weeks.. or three.. when I get a breather before the international trade law paper.. I am SOOOOOOO going to have a major major food day. Stay tuned.
Meanwhile, flowers for my mac will be welcome.
timeless
Eyaa. Just before I try to do this assignment. (I said that to myself last night, ended up staying up to 4 and having 2 hours sleep and a predictable timetable becomes ad hoc~ *cringes*).
Another day in the life of joyce
1. Get call at 7:40am from person advising of their lateness.
2. Get out of bed with the words "Oh, I'm on my way too.."
3. vaguely hear reply "See you at 8"
4. Reply "..ahh.. 8:30!..."
5. *hasty dash*
6. finish that appointment at 5:30.
7. Bus down to uni.
8. stopped at markets bar for extra strong mocha
9. pay $1.30
10.
$1.30!?!? *surprise* bargain!
11. Am informed I got there at happy hour.
12. class
13. class
14. bus home.
15. limbs on auto-pilot, vision dyslexic-ish
16. cooking dinner. (basic noodles with whatever available in fridge)
17. shower
18. now at computer and it's close to midnight.
*nods* pretty boring and ordinary day. I have 9am start tomorrow (which i missed last week). Am also slightly concerned about extra creases around stomach. exercising and eating well doesn't fit in very much sometimes.
quill
*sniff* I just watched Quill ne. (no one would watch it with me and I had been waiting for over 8 weeks to see it.) not exactly the best film for father's day. Tears were just streaming down my face at times and even my dad had to leave the room. it was so touching... and tears are good. Hai, it was simple but i loved it.
Yada~ Assignmentry weekly til the dawn of summer. It's become more than pressing. 'depressing' "deeply-pressing".
Meanwhile I need some sleep right now. But thank you to those mentioned in the previous post for coming and keeping me company and on the teetering edge of sanity.. For those who couldnt make it, thanks for even considering - it was a big ask - and i wouldn't have had enough beer for you.. *laughs*
One funny scene involved a young man who was acquainted with my sister. He seemed to want to join our group activities. But to keep a long story short, Holly and Jim kept calling him "Little boy". He would retort in a slightly high voice "I'm not a little boy!". Jim thought it was convenient to refer to the boy in relation to his nipple height. Yes, I'm sorry. It sounds terrible, but i have diluted this description whilst attempting to retain the humour.
Then in the course of playing our drinking games, we all converted into doraemons, waving our fists and laughing madly. Then i swapped seats and well, became hopelessly confused and was continually penalised.
Then we went downstairs to sing things like 'raindrops keep falling on my head'. Well, Warner was singing. Holly was sitting on the couch and not moving. Gabe disappeared to watch movies. Jim and I were playing more drinking games whereby everytime *I* lost we both drank, and when he lost, he drank. just in that game we finished a 6-pack. i gave up, my stomach was refused to expand bigger.
Then there were four: holly, jim, gabe and me remaining. Jim had unceremoniously gone upstairs and meanly got gabe to return downstairs only to sit on him.
wow that was mean. i know jim gets violent, but this was just harnessed aggravation - stepping close to out of line *glares*. Really, some things border on unacceptable but are ok between friends, but Jim squashed Gabe.. this is when Brett or Mike would have come in handy because they are more likely to be use to this abuse.
Then between us on couches, bean bags, cushions and the floor, holly, gabe and I managed to share on queen sized quilt. The TV was lulling us to sleep when *yoink* Jim grabs a corner and *EEYYYAHHH* crying out the three of us clutch our share of the quilt.
there was a mightly struggle.
strong words were exchanged.
quarrel.
then it ended with each of us with our corner tightly curled in our hands and jim's limbs mangled under the quilt. it was ok for a while. Like the four grandparents in charlie and the chocolate factory and how they share the same quilt. It was exactly like that. Then jim would move a knee, someone would cry out and lash back causing a whole chain reaction of commotion. Then someone would say something rendered inappropriate by the situation and another whole lot of pillow flapping, elbow threatening, and hair-pinching would go on. .. even if we were delievered another 3 blankets, i don't think that any of us would have let go of that quilt as a matter of principle.
Needing sleep badly. *yawns*
cleansing
yo. i'm dabbing cleansing water on my face in this five minutes before *walking around lib*. Cleansing water is good - but it seems guerlain eye kohl is better. in fact it's the one you mix with water to get water eye colour... =_= So the damage is irreparable. *cries* panda eyes! *laughs*
Oh well. I will now begin my walking regime to burn all the carbohydrates accumulated yesterday. my sister's party was rockin'. And my nerves were very very sensitive. BECAUSE, yes~ BYO doesn't work. I know it - which is why my parties are never BYO. And those kids were popping lids off my becks.. EYAH~~~~ I do have a thing for *my* case of becks..
*cries* A sign clearly labelling it as my property didn't do i single thing though it was written clearly on A4 fluro paper. And as everyone there (Gabe, Pete, Peter,
Holly, Warner and
Jim) witnessed this) - I am very *very* overprotective of my consumable property. But what really
irked me is that my sister specified that the party was BYO + my stuff was labelled and people weren't respectful enough to even enquire or question when they take my clearly labelled lid off my box *cries*~~
I fear I noticed some people who very clearly seemed to be freeloaders ('friends of friends of friends' who know... my sister... by name~) *shakes head* I'm disappointed by the other two co-party people as well. But Jade spent all early morning cleaning up because I think she noticed I was not very impressed.
SO THAT is what angered me the most. And what is more, the boys and girls were drinking my becks because they thought the vodka pre-mixed stuff was better... *shakes head* AND they left unfinished / near full bottles abandoned... *cries**cries**cries*
Thankfully I didn't end up buying that case of corona.... dear labyrinth of chaos.. (So there you go, i only buy to share with
friends, if you are on such a ladder you are welcome.. if you are not and don't even try to introduce yourself, I like to believe that it is understandable why I get slightly... red.. and livid looking.. with dangerous waving arms.. and ... loud loud.. voice...) *shakes head*
Oh to clarify. Close to two cases of beer plus my collection of misc bottles were for my friends only. *nods* (oh and my sister). *nods*. So all 6 of them. Surprisingly, only Jim, Holly and I could claim to be defending my consumables by consuming them. Gabe joined us later and then claimed to feel so feverish he grabbed bags of frozen corn to cool off and wore it on his head like a turban. *laughs*
I'll add the funny stuff later. .. the scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and other interesting things. *winks*
eye spy
eye spy. a trivial game. the last time i played that bronwyn, gabe, vincent and i were at roseville on a sandbank amusing ourselves with tree boughs. *laughs* those were the days were they not?
Eye spy with my little eye something beginning with W -
wretchedThat is how my week has been. It might be over a week, haven't kept count. Having kept much in my head. *cries* And I am sooo bogged down with things that I would update calendar for upcoming weeks every day. But i'm lazy. And if you ever wanted to know, my calendar is very important to me. Being accountable for my time, having things to look forward to or whatever.. it's not routine.
But yo~ I know I was going to keep the happy and the unhappy things separate, so focusing~
focusing~..
This week Gabe went and bought me the evidence book. hai. it is almost halfway through the semester but i have great expectations in this book! It *MUST* help me. On someday, met S-sama and holly for coffee. that was that. One that someday after that, in the morning i could not get up for class. so i missed it with overwhelming guilt. With grrrrreat effort and willpower i managed to get to scheduled 11 thingo within 15 minutes of lateness. that someday after, I had a free day but for one lecture. I managed to get to the lib at 10 to group meeting, thereafter i purchased veggies for sister, lugged these in my clattering non-grip-anything shoes to nth sydney. stumbled back to QVB precinct to have lunch with
holly,
mike and warner. They had obtained a table that was seemingly way out of reach from the rest of the place. It was nice. Made me think that they must've got there really...early.. and I'm not a fussy eater but quite easily impressed in fact, and that place didn't quite have me wringing my hands in delight. But perhaps, it was just me.
today i tried to actually do an assignment. after today i have a few hours on sunday free and nothing more for it. Peter said he will help me. yay. help consists of dismissing my whinging.
Today at holly's it was good gathering. I feel really bad about the inconvenience i cause others regarding travel arrangements. While i don't like asking - if i really insist on going then i think it justifies my 'I'll only ask you if it's really important' rule. I think the rule is stretched, but it's still good. Now you know if I say "are you hungry" or "are you busy" yes yes it *does* indicate i am making a request but sometimes what is important is something small, like making sure you know it's important that you are somewhere or whatever small reasons.
anyway that was my happy week ne.
I have a crazy crazy week coming up again.
Hopefully I'll see pockets of everyone. Like the port stephens bunch - we'll have so much fun, talking about the bogan again and pictionary. *small wave*
squished
I can only say that I am squished. it's the only thing i ever ever would ask people not to do, and it wouldnt happen unless you were that important to be able to bring about such a devastating action. By squish I mean, using as doormat type squish. samui ne. by saying nothing, you let me say everything.. and though you hear, you haven't listened and my words become overbearing and burdensome. All i can say is, if you think it relieves me, it doesn't. When you don't disparage what i say, these facts i do not wish to be true will redefine us. You will think i put this as a tactical strategy to draw us apart, but it was always weighed in your favour to draw us together. Instead, i obtain a 'go ahead and be like that' reply that drops the temperature by 5 degrees. If it had been anyone else, that jibe would have been the correct response, and i would think nothing of it. But this was my self-defeating appeal - and it was dismissed
just like that.. demo.. yappari.. zenzen.. wakeru no da. demo doushite.. When air turns to water to disguise my closed eyesAnd all the small things are adding up. For a life to be defined by the weight of all the small things, that is terrible. it is to be stuck with the small pins and to be unable to embrace anything greater. it tires, it ties... oh my.. it's happening.
[I can't predict very much. Somewhat disabled at this moment. See you soon. this might be your opportunity to kick me when i'm down. but of course it's a risk. *blinks* but it's safe to say i won't be recovering all that quickly.]
